Anxiety disorder: a primer for relief
I struggle with anxiety disorder. It runs in my family.
An an “A-type” personality, I’ve positively used stress to propel me in life, but at times it catches up with me.
The times that anxiety gets the best of me, I haven’t been taking care of my nervous system. “What’s that?” you ask. Read on and let me try to explain.
Stress begets the fight or flight response, which is our nervous system kicking in to save us when we feel threatened. We all fall primarily into one of three categories when this system is activated: stand and fight, stand and freeze, or flee. I’m a fighter. (God love him, my husband is a freezer but that’s another post on marriage…) When I say I’ve not been taking care of my nervous system, what I mean is that I’ve not been practicing calm. Calm is normal; in a calm state our bodies and minds rest. Anxious people don’t naturally know what calm feels like so for most, it must be learned. I learned calm in therapy, in being a Christian, and from observing my husband and other calm people. You can begin to learn calm with the following primer for anxiety relief.
The first precept on handling anxiety is to understand that CALM IS NORMAL. Anything other than calm is not normal. Anything ruining your calm is stress keying up your nervous system. So, first learn what calm looks like, feels like, is like. Calm was practically taught to me by my wonderful therapist using several means. First, she employed mindfulness and breathing techniques.
Mindfulness is kind of mindlessness for me (or at least that’s how I experience it). I practiced mindfulness first by just coloring. Yep, coloring. I personally like adult coloring books and colored pencils. Mandalas are my favorite. I think it’s the circular, repeating pattern that makes them particularly calming for me. I employed coloring to let my mind just …go. Paradoxically, I found that coloring helped me to focus, particularly on what my little son wanted to say. I often found conversation with him was distracting, but coloring while he talked grounded me so that I could listen. Coloring became a welcome, bonding time for us, so don’t knock adult coloring until you’ve tried it!
Mindfulness gave way to guided imagery. Bellruth Naparstek pioneered this work with PTSD patients at the VA. Guided imagery can be read or listened to. I like listening. Bellruth’s website, https://www.healthjourneys.com/ has an amazing catalog of audio recordings for every indication known to man. Please check it out. I particularly like guided imagery to induce sleep, which I’ve used personally and with my children.
Guided imagery led me to guided meditations. These are fantastic when you feel like you’re losing your grip and need immediate calm. The My Life app (formerly called “Stop, Breathe and Think”) is my go-to. It’s on my phone right now. What I love is the inventory of emotions and body feelings that you are forced to NAME. So often, I find anxious people have never learned: a) what they want/need & b) how to articulate their want/needs. Just the exercise of naming your emotions and how your body feels during stress or anxiety can loosen one more shackle in a anxious person. I’m partial to Jamie’s voice, but you decide.
Lastly, there are techniques out there that work the subconscious and can have an immediate or delayed effect on anxiety. In my opinion, psychological techniques like the ones below are the reasons God made therapists. If you’re still stuck in talk therapy and getting nowhere, find a new therapist that does or teaches one or more of these techniques:
Tapping: Developed by psychologist Dr. Roger Callahan in the 1980s, tapping physically connects mind and body to immediately calm and even alleviate pain
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): “a psychotherapy treatment that was originally designed to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories.” This is a hot therapeutic intervention right now that gives sometimes immediate but often delayed healing by separating intense emotion from memories deep in the subconscious.
Pain/Terror Release Therapy (P/TRP therapy): Developed by psychologist Dr. Robert Miller in 2012 is another therapeutic intervention that can separate intense emotion from traumatic memories . Therapies like this help you actually face traumatic memories with objective curiosity without being emotionally destroyed in the process.
Quickly, I’d like to say a word on therapists. There’s a lot of angst out there about seeing a therapist. I was in the camp that going to see a therapist “must mean something’s wrong with me.” Well, there was! I needed help and going to see a licensed clinical therapist meant that I was admitting I needed help. Much to my surprise, my therapist became my best personal champion. My therapist consistently brought out the best in me. Even when sessions were hard, she put me back together before I left. I’ve been to therapists who are terrible. I wouldn’t wish a bad therapist on my worst enemy. With that in mind, here are my 3 rules for finding a “good” therapist (and remember, therapists are like other professional people: some you will jive with and others not; shop around until you find rapport):
Dr. Lydia’s Measure of a “Good” Therapist:
They must not traumatize you. (If your therapists just digs down to dredge up bad stuff and leaves you emotionally gutted when you leave session, leave them…NOW!)
They must bring out your best self. (If you feel worse about yourself when you leave session than when you walked in, find a new therapist!)
They must give you tools to help you help yourself. (If you are just talking and not doing something like an assignment, practicing a new technique, reading a new book, etc. after you leave session, find a new therapist!)
Often, unresolved internal conflict from exposure to trauma, guilt, anger, or shame can manifest with anxiety symptoms. Anxiety is a symptom of much deeper psychological (and really NEUROLOGICAL) stress that manifests physically. I cannot stress how important it is to not medicate your feelings away with therapeutic drugs, drugs of abuse, food, or alcohol. Medication and/or supplements are assistants in managing anxiety, but are not necessarily required life-long and are NOT the panacea most doctors want them to be.
Anxiety, like depression, is often cyclic in its nature, provoked by life changes and stressors, and manifests when we’ve exhausted our limited internal coping tools. If your doctor is not adding tools to your toolbox, get a new doctor! A foundational principle in treating anxiety disorder is to TREAT THE WHOLE PERSON. Treatment must go deeper than a pill and a couple of follow up visits.
In another post, I’d like to talk about a few supplements I use to treat, augment treatment, or use as a bridge to wean off medication for anxiety disorder. Until then, consider the whole picture when you approach your anxiety. Find a competent physician who can add tools to your toolbox to cope and will help you find a therapist with skills in the above techniques.
To your peace of mind,
Dr. Lydia